Can Someone Please Help Me Edit My Stream of Consciousness?

I am 200% going to regret publishing this. But the good news is, no one will read it. (I hope.)

Never read Hyperbole and a Half? Go. Do that now. Also OMG Allie Brosh wrote a second book!

We all have 10,000 pages of absolute garbage inside of us.

Artwork by me. Scissors + card stock + glue sticks + old copies of The Economist = #AnalogMemes

The Clubhouse Bear Case: Podcast Review

Twitter has been amazing since the #GrowthGroup community joined. It’s fun again, thanks to @handle. I’m discovering new things and meeting new people in a way that I haven’t experienced since 2008–2009.

This, to me, is one of the reasons Twitter is amazing. I hate to admit that it’s gotten a lot better since the bots and He Who Shall Not Be Named But is Orange got booted. (I have thoughts about this that I’m working on in a separate article.)

My favorite thing from the #Twitterverse today (or more recent thing, favorites are hard to pick when you’re dealing with SHOE VENDING MACHINES for $1000 and The Future of Life is Not Work and also Happy Mardi Gras) was the episode of @Podcast with recent Twitter friend and one of the many #GrowthGroup Nates, @NateElliott of StartupSalad.

Nate was on @Podcast talking about his Bear Case for Clubhouse. He’s only spent 2 hours on the platform, which is more than I’ve been able to accompilsh since I’m not part of the iPhone Club.

I honestly don’t know how I met Nate, it was one of those #Twitter #Serendipity things, but he’s been amazing at being a supportive friend. He’s been cheering me on as I reluctantly (but determinedly) start #writinginpublic, and I thnk we’re collaborating on a piece about #RePrint — an imaginary new print publication that This Twitter Thread (link) and various other trends all suggest should totally be a thing.

Anyway, I digress. So many ideas, it’s hard to get my ever-increasing collection of thought bubbles (my thoughts have been described as trees, with many branches but all part of a coherent larger trunk and root system plus leaves and plants are another future topic but I continue to digress).

CLUBHOUSE: FAD OR FAB?

Nate is meh on clubhouse after his cursory review. I’ve been observing the Hype Cycle in it’s whitest, bro-est, VC-funded form, and we’re all curious what’s going to happen with this whole CH thing.

I have MANY questions about the valuation math that someone who understands the Black (but actually red?) Magic of Startup Vauations and Money Math, becauese I cannot figure that shit out.

Granted, I am notoriously bad at basic math these days. That part of my brain has ossified, which you can see in action in this article where I inspire myself and a few other people with wildly bad math. (But actually, now that I think about it, if VCs somehow get involved, maybe my math could work? It’s a mystery.)

Anyway: is Clubhouse the future or is it a fad?

My outsider opinion is that from a VC/Startup perspective, it’s bound to be a success for the people who built (and I’m guessing will sell) it. And also their investors.

Assuming the investors don’t kill it? It’s what, a $100 Billion company? How does that even make sense? It has no revenue, right?

The whole Stonks go Brrr issue aside, I think there are a number of directions Cubhouse could go:

1. Corporate. @DannyAbas of @Boost described CH as “conference calls you can listen to, live” which if I’m being honest is the worst pitch I’ve ever heard (I literally can’t imagine anything more boring: hey, come listen to my conference call because we’re all lonely and sick of looking at ourselves on Zoom all day).

But all of the things @NateElliot sees as being “wrong” with Clubhouse are all the reasons that it might actually work for the Corporate “Let’s All Go Back to The Office” Crew, which nobody actualy wants (unless you’re a company that owns a lot of office buildings, middle management who can’t function without a tie and “crazy” socks because you’re cool like that, and your job is to make sure butts are in seats so you don’t get fired, or someone who is so miserable with the life they’ve built for themselves at home that they are dying to be with the people HR has decided they should spend 40 hours a week with instead of the people they chose to marry, create (as in small humans), or are otherwise cohabiting with.

Parenting is hard, I’ve heard. Teachers are heros, and yes, there are benefits to having a workspace you can choose to go to, aka an “office.”

Third spaces are far superior in my opinion, but that’s another article for another day and also I’ve been doing this Digital Nomad remote work thing since ~2008 (and predicted the Empire Fall in 2005, as proven by this Podcast interview from 2011 where I happened to mention that I expected all of this to happen; turns out I was just off by 5 or so years).

I’m really good at working in loud bars, in other people’s businesses (like the back of a vape shop, at a library on a campus I’m not affiliated with, the back of my mom’s van on a road trip because she’s a control freak and won’t let me drive, on an airplane or a beach or outside in my garden, etc. I picked a “career” that’s portable and not very bandwidth intensive, so I could probably do my entire job from a mobile phone with occassional data connectivity, as in El Salvador or random tiny islands like Raratonga or Madeira or the one that literally has boiling water coming out of the ground, it’s in an archipelago that Portugal owns, starts with a C, I am blanking on the name right now but also boiling water in your front yard is terrifying, it was like being on a very angry moon, but also the local residents don’t seem to mind, they use the heat to cook weird sausage-baased meat stew things, becaue basically dig a hole anywhere and you’ve got a free slow cooker).

Did I digress?

Maybe a little.

Let’s try to get back on track.

There’s apparently a small but powerful population, probably largely made up of Old White Men who are pretty sure that Going Back to The Office is inevitable and for the greater good.

But as Chris Herd argues, and I think he’s on to something, comanies that force everyone to go back to the office are going to die a quick death, crushed by the many asteroid-speed competitors who are embracing the Work Diaspora Revoution (aka Distributed, Remote-First, ROWE (results oriented work environment) and all the other things Big Office said couldn’t be done remotely (while companies like @Buffer and @Basecamp et al were actively proving them wrong) until a Global Pandemic trapped us wherever we happened to find ourselves.

Shocking news: it worked. Work can be done from anywhere, and the old systems we’ve built work on are outdated. And expensive, as it turns out. Chris Herd has quoted that office space costs some absurd amount of money per employee, like $20–50K (this can’t be right, can it?) so whoever is trying to cut salaries when their employees move to LCOL (low cost of living) areas like the Village of Buckley, Michigan (my current location and “hometown” (my other home is New Orleans)) could maybe just reallocate all that money being spent on office space, furniture, and other brick and mortar overhead. Rent it out to homeless people sleeping in their cars. If you have a gym on site, it can be spun as a coworking space and no one has to talk about how fucked the Housing System is in the U.S. because we’d rather all be talking about “Passive Income” and Profit and other Black Magic nonsense related to MONEY (which is a construct and only works because we all agree it’s important, kind of like traffic lights but not really because those actually serve a useful purpose for the collective, vs. concentrating Wealth in the hands of whoever has a significant enough pile of it for their money to self-replicate through Hard Work and The American Dream and all the other Trickle Down Elite Nonsense that’s so captivated our collective imagination.

(You guys, I think this is the real reason I don’t write and I don’t edit or read my own stuff. My brain has SO MUCH going on that this pile of word vomit is surely never going to be read, which is great because that means I can safely publish it.)

These things are all connected, though, and I’ve apparently been letting the Thought Bubbles accumulate for too long. They’ve gone from Cool Giant Bubble Thing at The Kid’s Science Museum (and a manageable, elegant if wobbly flow) to Highly Questionable Mass of Bubbles in a Foam Pit I Once Encountered on Spring Break Somewhere in Florida of All Places.

My stream of consciousness is a fucking flood, and the fact that I can type close-ish to the speed of talk (not thought, for sure, but the words come out of my QWERTY-tweaker fingers just as fast as they come out of my mouth) makes it really hard to organize things in a way that OTHER people can follow.

Dear reader, are you with me?

Okay, back to Clubhouse.

Tomorrow.

Filed under: Shitty First Drafts

Writing about writing. And other stuff.

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