It’s hard to hear anything over the Clubhouse hype train noise.

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Screenshot by Author. Taken from Capiche.fm

I’m about to make a bunch of statements about Clubhouse and why it’s stupid. But I should probably preface this by admitting I haven’t actually used Clubhouse personally. So, this part is all hearsay, but CH isn’t the interesting or important thing in this article.

Capiche.fm is More Interesting than Clubhouse

Before you ask — yes, I have a Clubhouse invite. More than one, in fact. Lack of an invite isn’t the reason I haven’t used Clubhouse.

The reason is that I happen to be a diehard Android user. Since CH chose to be iPhone-only — despite having more than enough funding to develop an Android…


Once you start writing, ideas breed like rabbits.

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Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

Ever worried you’ll run out of ideas once you start writing more often? Well, don’t worry.

You won’t.

The opposite is more likely to happen. One piece of writing leads to ideas for other things to write about, and then you write about those new things which spawns several new ideas.

I already had a ton of ideas for things to write about, and the running list I have in my head is increasingly unmanageable.

This is why I wish I had minions or could clone myself. It’ll take 100 lifetimes to just type all the crazy ideas and stories…


This is a conspiracy story that I made up, but I’m 42% certain it’s serious. Also, my title may be unintentional clickbait.

The Kesha podcast with a government official who’s from the UK just did something interesting. (You really need to listen to it, because this is not even close to a summary or breakdown. That episode is our primary source text. I’m writing this in realtime because I’m listening to the pod as I write this.)

They’re seeming to disclose aliens, but I think they just went too far by speculating about whether or not AI has a right to live.

I take issue with that conversation: We need to give human rights to literal, living animals before we decide it…


What if advertising worked more like Reddit?

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Photo by Ann Fossa on Unsplash

The other day, people in Here’s Where it Gets Crazy — a Facebook group for fans of the excellent Stuff They Don’t Want You to Know (STDWYTK) podcast — were complaining about the ads on the show.

This is the post that started the conversation:


I am 200% going to regret publishing this. But the good news is, no one will read it. (I hope.)

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Never read Hyperbole and a Half? Go. Do that now. Also OMG Allie Brosh wrote a second book!

We all have 10,000 pages of absolute garbage inside of us.

Here are 1500 words of mine.

Current count: 9,997 pages to go.

Creation is messy, I #amwriting and this, apparently, is my process.


The blindingly obvious solution to FOMO that I just figured out.

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Cartoon by Drew Dernavich with cartooncollections.com via WIRED

I’m watching Day 1 of the #ship30for30 writing challenge cohort on Twitter, and regretting the fact that I didn’t join.

I think it was money insecurity that gave me pause initially. Which means I’m not serious, right?

You always have enough time and money for the things you really want to do.

Especially time.

In this case, I used money as an excuse.

Or at least that’s my story.

Now, I’m having all this FOMO.

But guess what? I fixed it!

No Mo’ FOMO fo’ me.

How?

Honestly, this one weird trick will blow your mind.

Wait for it…

I did something about it.

Instead of missing out, or being afraid…


Serious question: have you ever met a “normal” person?

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Art by the author. (No, it doesn’t make sense. That’s why I like it.)

Have you ever wished you were normal?

I’m sure that most of us, at some point in our lives, has failed to live up to that mythical golden yardstick of “normal.” If you’ve wondered what it’s like to be normal often enough, for long enough, you might have noticed something.

Do normal people even exist?

No, seriously. I’m asking because I am starting to wonder if that archetypal, gold-standard ideal human we’re all supposed to be even exists in reality.

And if normal isn’t real, why are we all being held to this standard? Who is holding us to this standard, anyway?

More importantly, if it does exist, perhaps we should define…


Yes, but only if you communicate effectively.

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Artwork by the author.

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

I am spectacularly good at missing deadlines.

So good, in fact, I have managed to blow deadlines by not days, but months.

This is not something I’m proud of. But I’ve tanked enough client relationships that I have figured out how to avoid doing that, to some extent. It’s not a perfect system, and hopefully you’re the kind of person who is reading this more out of morbid curiosity than to learn something that might be helpful.

If you’re…


It took ten days to get it right. But it was worth the effort.

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Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

Once upon a time, many years ago, I was happily self-employed and totally not looking for a job. Then I stumbled upon a post…

For my dream job.

It was a great opportunity. Literally everyone wanted it. I had no contacts at the company, so I knew that in order to get noticed I had to write the perfect cover letter.

So I spent the next ten days writing the perfect cover letter. (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t perfect, I ended up sending it with a typo. But it still landed an interview, and ultimately, I got the job.)

Do you…

Jess Rohloff

Writing about writing. And other stuff.

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